Day 7 - Arts and Crafts 2

This Weeks Entertainment

The impressive workmanship on this Bodgetti & Scarperino instrument is a joy to behold

Note the fine detailing around the built in speaker and speaker housing. It is said that Jimmy Page himself sat next to some one on a bus once who owned this very model.

Sounds as good as it looks <-Click here

Wise words mate!!!

Day 7 (or day 9 depending) - Arts and Crafts

The Pac Man Pacamac

What the discerning fashionista will be wearing this summer. Though not whilst anyone's with them I suspect.

The Bell of the Ball

Here we see our model in his full length pac man pacamac evening wear. I think we can rest assured his dance card will be full all night.

Rest Day - Things I learnt Last Week

1.  'Winding Hole' is not a RedTube category.

2. Canal boats are so slow you are routinely overtaken by your own flatulence / cigarette smoke.

3. Humans are not the only animals that get morning wood

4. Horses bite.

5. Horse flies bite!

6. Swans have a secret agenda.

7. Romper suits love prop shafts

8. Running around operating locks for 3 days in the same socks can cause domestic strife.

9. Banbury has a very very very very very narrow gene pool.
**Just found out I have to return to Banbury tomorrow so should prob remove this post because "Ah show does got a purty mouth"**

10. You certainly don't!!

Adding Comments

If any one has been trying to add comments and found it near impossible (not you Sophie) I just made it possible. Feel free

Day 6 - BANBURY CROSS

Banbury 'Chuffin' Cross

Banbury Cross

CROSS!!!! I was fuking livid. Imagine walking 2 miles and finding this!?

I looked up the apparent meaning behind the nursery rhyme and unlike most other nursery rhymes (Ring-a-Ring-a Roses, London Bridge is Falling Down, Straight outta Compton et al) this one is not about chaos, death, mayhem disease or destruction but about a nice visit Elizabeth I once made.

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
She shall have music wherever she goes

I researched further some of the definitions on the more archaic terms: Cock Horse = Large Stallion ('natch)

Still....Better than what stands at the original site

Day 5 - As Promised....More on Swans....

Things a Swan Can Do

Earlier revelations regarding the Cygnus bird have led us to look deeper into their shadowy underworld. At this time we can confirm very little but we do know as FACT the following

A Swan can break your arm with it's wing

A Swan can snap your clavicle with its rapier like wit

A Swan can be used to wipe your arse.....Let me just expand on this one a little

According to French renaissance writer and doctor Francois Rebelais the best thing to wipe your backside on is a swans neck. For anyone having trouble picturing this Tim has kindly taken the time to draw an artists rendition.

Serving Suggestion - Actual process may vary from that shown

Day 5 - BREAKING NEWS

Giant Spider Spotted on Grand Union Canal

Sussex man (45) Heard Screaming Like 8 Year Old Girl.

The time now is 19:30 and we are approaching Banbury Cross, famous for its Cock Horse or some such. I had something of a run in with a 'Cock Horse' at the beginning of this trip so will be keeping em peeled tonight.  We will tie up here soon, fetch the car from Wolverhampton in the morning then head back 'Dahhn Sarf' for the weekend...........Back on Monday for more of the same!!

Sussex Man (45) Seen to Raise Slight Smile

Day 5 - Swans Revealed (The truth THEY don't want you to see)

Ban This Filth

CAUGHT ON CAMERA: Swan overlords using 
Geese as slave labour

We were chased off by swan security   but not before we learnt the shocking truth

Swan extremists chase us out of town 

The Swan is using the goose as muscle against the ducks........More on this later 

Day 4 - Oh No Not More Morelocks

Yes you guessed it......More feckin' locks. Another 32 but we're back on the single locks now we are on the Oxford Canal. We were going to stop in Royal Leamington Spa but managed to sail past and not notice it's presence. I was however alert enough to spot a Macy'Ds in time for the breakfast menu.

There has been some tension today with regards issues of personal hygiene which for the sake of argument we shall be calling 'Sockgate'. Tim suggested we call in the S.M.S ( Sock Mediation Services) but I checked on the internet and could not find mention of this esteemed body anywhere.

Alas without the help of a mediation body 'Sockgate' negotiations did not go well.

....Still it has not all been bad news. We left the double locks of the Grand union behind us and here on the Oxford system things are more laid back. We still managed to complete plenty but ultimately there was only one that really mattered

Couldn't be happier

Entertaining the Morelocks

"On your own ladieeeees?!"