Day 19 and Onwards - An Ending

Henry Edward - An Ending

Click on above link and Brian Eno's 'An Ending' will open in a new window and play whilst you read the final entry in this debacle blog.

BORING BUT TRUE
Brian Eno's full name is Brian Peter George St John le Baptise De La Soul Umbongo Biscuit Barrel Eno

Of course we wanted to leave the boat here as it had a familiar feel. We asked them "do you see a lot of narrow boats" to wit he replied "It's Not Unusual"  (I'm not even sorry I did that)

As it turns out we still had some distance left to go. Tim managed to find a reasonable price for 'Hard Standing' which means out of the water on a patch of concrete making working on the boat not only easy but I suspect a joy.......

I  will never know this joy though because in true Pauly Cicero style, as he turned his back on Henry Hill I must now turn my back on Henry Edward and the Canals for ever.

I must say that whilst the back waters of Wolverhampton / Birmingham and the like were hard going, by the time we hit Oxford and then moved on to the Thames the trip became an absolute pleasure.

We had thrills

.....and spills

.........and seen heartache.....although laughed like drains at it all....






So here it is, Henry Edwards final home. There is a tradition or if you prefer superstition on the Canals that the 'Morelocks' observe that the boat must come out of the water before you can rename it. This will happen over the next few months so when the time comes to put her back onto the water she will be reborn as some thing/one else. 

.................Anyway if this trip has taught me anything at all, and I would like to think it has then it is this
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Day 17 - Isn't It Awfully Nice To Be In Windsor

Yes it Jolly well is. We dropped in to see Liz, Phil and the gang but were told on the door that if our names were not down we were not coming in.
We made our excuses and left...

There has been a slight revision to our plan and so instead of Basingstoke our final destination is now a boatyard / Marina in Chertsey which is some 17 navigable miles downstream of our current position which must be said is awfully nice!!

Current mooring

Day 16 - Windsor, The Long Walk

It was a very long walk but at least they had
company most of the way

Day 16 - Maidenhead Five Oh

We braved the 'Ring of Steel' around the Eton Dorney Olympic venue where persons of interest to the Police seemed to be young girls in tight shorts! Seeing this we figured we would be allowed to go on our way and headed for the bright lights of Windsor.

At the next lock down however the Police had adopted a strict 'Chat to Kill' policy.

So to avoid any further delays Tim decided to feel his own collar and we were once again on our way.

Day 15 - The Edge of Darkness

We sailed out of Marlow last night and into the £8.50 mooring zone of Maidenhead. In typical blokey "HOW MUCH!!" style we found the only free mooring in the area and tied up.
Our way forward is slightly hindered by a place called Eton Dorney which for anyone who has not been glued to the Olympics is where the Rowing is being held. Although not forbidden from traversing the Thames at this point it is being made very hard by armed police and a no mooring policy.........We shall resume Tuesday morning when they have all gone home.

"None shall pass!"

Day 14 - Henley On Thames

Between Reading and Marlow lies the town of Henley on Thames twinned with the towns of Che Rezessione and Los Amoney.

Day 14 - 'Did I Leave the Gas On!?'

No you didnt leave the gas on but you did set fire to your garden!!

Day 14 - Wouldn't You Simply Die Without Marlow!?

Medmenham doop do be doo do.....

Ya see.....You'll never go hungry appealing to the lowest common denominator.

Anyway I'm a bit lost time wise, it's Saturday August 4th and for the sake of argument I'm calling this day 14. We sailed out of Reading this morning and into Marlow this evening. Another town very much in the style of Abingdon / Walllingford and the like except this one has a suspension bridge and a Wimpy Bar.

Marlow Suspension Bridge

Marlow Wimpy Bar (actual Wimpy may vary!)


Paul in near foreground hands in pockets counting his change!!

Day 13 - Things We Learned This Week

1. Electrocuting fish under the cover of darkness is 'Conservation' and not torture (or cheating !).

2. Floppy white hats are not suitable attire for Toilet repairs.

3. Repeated use of the phrase 'Packing the grease nipple' should be avoided.

4. 'Swan Upping' is not the same things as 'Cow Tipping'.......not even close.

5. Full beards are required by anyone wishing to operate a Thames Lock.

6. All signs should be adhered to. 

Day 12 - Toilet Trader

A night of intense 'research'

Having bagged a very good FREEEEE mooring in Abingdon we are some what loathe to leave it straight away so have decided to stay a day or so. Tim is beautifying the bathroom fixtures and fittings whilst I am generally lounging about making occasional trips to the local Ice Cream Parlour. we had a brief visit from a passing local called Alice. A seemingly average but not unattractive lady in her 20's but with a strange far away look in her eyes. It was only when we spotted 'Blessed are those who trust in the Lord' printed on the back of her T-Shirt that it all made sense and she was told to 'JOG ON'

"Jebus I salute thee!"

FUN FACTS ABOUT ABINGDON

Update......

1. During times of national celebration local dignitaries throw sticky buns from the roof of the town hall to the hysterical masses below.
2. Radiohead are from here and not Oxford as most people think.
3. See 1

Clear water on all fronts

We shall be on the move again tomorrow so this has come as music to our eyes (eyes!!??!)

Day 11 - Baton Downing

Baton Downing - An anagram of course of Abingdon Town. Former county seat of Berkshire before getting shunted into Oxfordshire and birth place of none other than Dorothy Richardson....Yes, THAT Dorothy Richardson.

Our fist proper stop since saying goodbye to Oxford. Although having said that we took the afternoon off moored at Abingdon Lock and I cycled back to Oxford to get the car (36miles) whilst Tim hoovered his rugs or some such. So not quite goodbye.

NOTE TO SELF - No matter how plausible they may seem do not let anyone convince you that the A34 is safe and navigable by Bicycle.

So having realised my error to late I was forced across several fences, fields and cattle grids before finding a more agreeable route up Boars Hill and past the area's - neigh the countries - greatest tourist attraction.........................................

....................It's only a giant model of a Spitfire stuck tastefully on top of a car dealership. I dont mind admitting I was so excited I 'pooped' a little.

FUN FACTS ABOUT ABINGDON 

1. During times of national celebration local dignitaries throw sticky buns from the roof of the town hall to the hysterical masses below.
2. See 1. 

Day 10 - The Thames and Justyna Starek

We finally made it on to the Thames around 3pm once the high waters had headed off down river to darken some one else's door. Even though our path is now wider we still managed to thump a giant wooden post coming out of the first of the river locks. The locks are now manned (or womaned!) so my lock operating  days are  pretty much over.

Pete the Keep

I have now been replaced by the likes of Peter the (Lock) Keeper who I still maintain looks a bit like a young Karl Marks.........in cargo shorts.

Justyna enjoys inflating her own tubes and is a 
dead spit for Sinead O'Connor...What's not to like!?

Whilst out on the town (getting a kebab) last night we ran into the wonderfully kooky Justyna Starek from Spain. She claims to be raising money by cycling from South Wales to Cornwall so what she was doing in the Jericho area of Oxford is anyone's guess. She also claims to have come ashore that morning at Portsmouth Harbour with two friends who she had since lost and then cycled the 80 miles or so to Oxford. Her hand made flyers give you all the information you could possibly need including a crude map depicting Lands End which unfortunately for her is in the opposite direction. One got the feeling had she spent longer on the planning and less time on the hand made flyers she would not now be on her way North to Newcastle but instead sunning herself on the English Riviera.

Front

Back

Day 9 - Osney the Lonely

So back on the boat but 'ACCESS DENIED' due to health and bleeding safety at Osney Lock which is  our gateway onto the Thames.
Our way was barred by Peter the Lock Keeper who looked a little like a young Karl Marx in cargo shorts.
To any man in his mid to late 40's the thought of a strong continuous stream may sound fantastic but in boating terms it can be deadly.

We were going to rush him and take to the Thames anyway until this guy turned up and caused us to cool our jets.

Itchy the Crane - River Thames Mascot and constant worry wart

Day 8 - Oxfords Dreaming Spires

We have made it to our week 2 destination of Oxford nearly 3 days ahead of schedule. The boat will be moored here for a week or so whilst Tim and I take care of things in the real world (in my case this  should take a few minutes)
Next comes the Thames, we had a taste of river boating where the Oxford canal joins the Cherwell river for a couple of miles and it was very exciting as we attained the dizzying heights of 8mph. Yes you read that right ....A WHOLE 8MPH....Imagine Bullitt set on a canal boat in the wilds of Oxfords backwaters and thats how exciting it was.

Oxfords dreaming spires.....
Otherwise known as Lefty and Righty

Day 7 - In Other News

It would seem the Swans are not the only cats who know where it's at!!

The only time I have ever had to beware of a Chicken before was when checking it's sell by date.

A friend of mine once claimed to have been chased around the island of Koh Phan Gan (Thailand) one night by a giant chicken but I think there were 'special circumstances' surrounding that little incident.

I Say........................

Highlight of my week so far!!